06.01.16

Replace the NHL or MLB with a Female Professional Gymnastics League

Mark Baumer →
  1. A professional gymnastics could probably become the #1 sport in America.
  2. Red meat river America probably would rather die in their own red meat river bleeding from the center of America than support a women’s professional league, but red meat river America is slowly dying anyway so there’s not really anyone around anymore to explain the rules of baseball.
  3. At the very least a professional gymnasts league should replace professional wrestling.
  4. Honestly though, there really needs to be a major professional sport league for females.
  5. It’s 2016.
  6. Maybe instead of announcers they could just hire DJs.
  7. Like everything else in America these days you aren’t going to get anyone’s attention unless you create drama.
  8. A league of professional gymnasts would be nothing but drama.
  9. I mean gymnasts are constantly not impressed.
  10. Obama would definitely watch.
  11. Does anyone watch baseball anymore?
  12. Also don’t forget: football sucks too.
  13. I actually like hockey, but even before climate change hockey was always dead in America.
  14. We should at least pay for shipping when we send all our hockey teams back to Canada.
  15. The problem with female professional sports leagues is America is basically a sexist white hole of dicks.
  16. Also, female professional sports don’t work when you try to cram females into the already male dominating sports arenas.
  17. WNBA, The Ladies Football League (the one where they wear bikinis), and National Women’s Soccer League were set up to fail.
  18. Professional softball might work because their games are faster paced than Major League Baseball.
  19. Basically, the above video made me feel all the feelings.
  20. Under Armour could easily start a gymnastics league with all the money they’ve made from sponsoring Steph Curry.